Finding Me

I have had a lot of hairstyles and colors throughout the years, like way too many to even count. I’m sure a lot of women can relate to this. Most of these hairstyle changes are brought on by seeing a style on another girl and thinking it was stinkin adorable on her and I want my hair to look just like that! So I make the hair appointment and 8 out of 10 times end up regretting the change. The girl I seen looked like she was straight off of Pintrest and I ended up looking like my 4th grade school picture.

I’ve done this with more than just hairstyles. For YEARS I was trying to figure out just who I was. But the problem was is that I was always trying to discover who Ashley was through acting, doing, or looking like someone else. In high school I’d see other girls and think “gosh she is awesome, and it’s totally because she has on those $150 dollar jeans” So I’d go buy the jeans put them on aaaaaaaaaand nope, still awkward Ashley. This corrupt way of thinking followed me through, collage, motherhood and marriage! I was always comparing myself to others and on the flip side was constantly worried about what others thought of me. That lead to an almost 30 year old Ashley who still had no idea who she truly was.

At the first of the year I made a resolution to read the bible at least 5 days a week but I would strive for 7. In the past 6 months of sticking to this healthy habit I’ve learned this about who I am….

> I wasn’t happy with who I was when I was trying to be like someone else because I was not created to be someone else!! DUH!!!I was created to be me and in Gods eyes I am beautiful just the way I am, no designer jeans or hairstyle changes needed!

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” -Psalm 139:14

> I don’t do life the same as other mom’s and that’s ok, we are all created uniquely. Just because my “momming” looks different than your “momming” does not mean that my kids are loved any less. I am learning as I go just like you and there’s no such thing as a parenting expert; I am sorry but there’s just not. At the end of the day my littles know they are loved more than anything in this world and that’s the greatest gift we can give our children.

” and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest is love” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

>When Zach and I got married we became one in Christ. This means that Zach is a huge part of my identity and that’s great because gosh I love him, this also means that we need to find out what Gods wants of us as a couple (work-in progress)

“and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh” Mark 10:8

> In order to find my true self I need to stop looking in this world but rather in Christ. Who did God create me to be? What does he want me to do with my life?

” I am the vine; you are the branches whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. -John 15:5

>People are going to judge no matter what I am doing with my life so I might as well be doing what makes me happy and ultimately what makes God happy. I need to stop doing what I think will make them happy. After all if your days are spent judging others lives are you truly happy with your own? 

“why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? – Matthew 7:3

Have I completely discovered my full identity yet? No, and I still have lots of questions and soul searching ahead but I know I am a whole lot closer to finding “me” than I was 6 months ago. I’m learning to embrace the silly little things that make me unique. I don’t know what’s in-store for my future but I do know that today I am a wife, a mother and a daughter of Christ. And for that I am so grateful!

Who are you in Christ?

” This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” -Psalm 118:24

-xo Ashley

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2 thoughts on “Finding Me

  1. Ashley you are an amazing wife and mom. All the challenges your generation face today it is so good to hear you look to God and his word to guide you. Im so blessed I met you and your family. Your stories are so inspiring and heartfelt. You are on the best path you could choose one that will never fail you and will always guide you in the right direction.
    From your Iowa friend lots of love, Becky

    Like

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