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The Staircase

A little over 6 years ago I was walking down the wrong path in life. Somewhere before that I had taken a wrong turn…or 10 and ended up in a dark place. Zach and I had created an unhealthy relationship, I was still trying to figure out the whole mom thing, I dropped out of college and was working two part time jobs with no clear direction of what or where I wanted to be.

I would sit up at night a pray and feel no connection at all to God, I would try to read the bible but honestly nothing I read made any sence to me. I believed in God but had no real relationship with him. I desperately wanted him to answer my cries.

After years of struggling I finally made a healthy choice and sought out a Christian counselor. Once a week we would meet ; at first it was extremely painful for me to open up because I had suppressed my emotional pain for years. But, with each new visit I became more comfortable. One day I told her that I would pray to God daily but I felt there was this huge wall between him and I. The wall must be some kind of punishment for all the poor choices in life I’ve made I told her. After some talking I realized that it wasnt God that built this “wall” as a punishment to keep me away but it was actually me who put up the “wall.” I was convinced that because I didn’t live a cookie cutter Christian life style that I was not worthy of a relationship with God. It was a lie the enemy had told me and I fell victim to it for years.

Well, the great thing about walls is that they can be knocked down a whole lot quicker than they are built. That day my counselor prayed with me and asked God to knock down the walls that I had built around my heart. Later that week I lost the job that had been the majority of my income. I hung up the phone, and began to walk down the stairs. I hit the floor about half way down and began to pray out loud. I told God that I had tried everything and that I was done. I couldn’t do it anymore and I handed it all over to him, all of the pain I had been holding on too, all of the lies I believed about myself, everything.

That is the day I found God’s grace. That is the day that changed my life forever.

“He brought them out of the darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains” – Psalm 107:14

Sitting on the staircase (how symbolic) that day was the first step in my walk with God. I was no longer walking alone, I had my heavenly Father right beside me so whom shall I fear!

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress” Psalm 107:13

Since then God has opened so many doors in my life and also closed the doors on the lies I once believed true.  That doesn’t mean that I havent faced difficulty in the past 6 years. I mean, what would I blog about if my life was totally perfect ;). It just simply means that I no longer face hard times alone. I can say with absolute confidants that if I had not given my life back to God 6 years ago I would not be the person who is before you today.

Taking that first step of faith and contacting a counselor was the best decision I’ve ever made. Mental health is not something that should be put off for a later time. DO NOT ever feel ashamed for seeking help.

Is God asking you to take a leap of faith? DO IT!!!! I’m the friend your mom warned you about….JUMP! Not, off a bridge!!!! But, into your walk with God. You have absolutely nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

If you are looking for a beautiful light read that I felt great connection too while writing this post; check out Psalm 107. It took my breath away!

-xo Ashley

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By Ashley Voss

Hello and Welcome to my page! My name is Ashley, I am a stay at home mom of two beautiful littles Rylee and Kreed. My husband and I started Our Love Story all the way back in the 4th grade. It was a messy ride at times until about 3 years ago. After going through troubled waters we decided to rebuild our entire life on the foundation of Christ. Since then we have been created a beautiful life together. We enjoy working on our little farm house, traveling and camping with our kids and coming up with unique ways to keep on dating all these years later. We have built this life by simply accepting God's grace. I can't wait to share our story with you.

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