The past few months I have been struggling to find my place. I wanted to feel important again, like I had more meaning to my life than just cleaning the house everyday. Becoming as Stay at Home Mom is such a blessing but I felt it robbed me of my identity. I was no longer rushing through a clinic or earning a paycheck. Instead I was cleaning up what felt like the same 12 messes everyday and mind numbed from “Baby Shark Doo Doo” playing on repeat.
I wanted more, I wanted to solve world hunger, I wanted to feel important. I wanted a reason to put on real pants again!
I began dreading daily tasks. I just kept thinking “there has to be more purpose to my life” Of course I still loved up on my kids, we played, did art projects you name it. On the outside I appeared happy but, on the inside I could feel depression creeping in. So, I brought my feelings to God, I prayed that he would show me my purpose. I begged to be his hands and feet. I wanted to do the work of Him not just clean my house. Ya know what he placed on my heart? “get organized” Huh??? um, are you forgetting I have mega OCD? my house is organized. “your life, create a schedual” What the heck do I need a schedule for? I’m a stay at home mom!?!? But I wasnt about to argue. So I bought a monthly planner, wrote down a detailed cleaning schedule, started meal planning, and overall just became more organized with my days. During this time I started noticing a shift in my thinking. I was indeed making a difference, no I wasnt solving world hunger but I was preparing food for my hungry family. And, because of the cleaning schedule I was able to carve out more meaningful interactions with my kids instead of worrying about the next cleaning task.
In Proverbs 31 we read about a wife, a mom, a homemaker. They call her the Wife of Noble Character. She is the hands and feet of Jesus daily! Every task she does for the works of the Lord. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat from the bread of idleness (Proverbs 31:27)
“If you want to change the world begin by doing the dishes” -neighbor
I can’t change the world if my home affairs are not in order. I am the hands of feet of Jesus everyday. My children are learning from my actions, my husband is fueled by my support. I was trying to build a house before pouring the foundation. God has big plans for me but, I need to start by doing the dishes.
SIDENOTE: This week I reciceved like the best mega opportunity EVER!! Be on the look out for Hands and Feet part TWO! Hint: Click the link below!