My journey to my life today began in the 4th grade. That is when I first laid eyes on a blonde hair, blue eyed boy that today I call my husband. Sounds like the begining of a cheesy love movie right? boy is that WRONG. I had the biggest crush on Zach and in the 6th grade my dreams had come true. He asked me to be his GIRLFRIEND! only to dump me a week later because my pants were too short and I weighed about as much as his left leg (pretty I know). This was the first break up in a LOOOOONG LOOOOOOOONG list of break ups. We were basically a real life Ross Geller and Rachel Green. In fact I’m almost certain we had the “we were on a BREAK” fight. I could go into every break up but that would take a life time and frankly I can’t remember them all….yup it was that bad.
Now that you have a good grasp of what our history looked like it will help you to understand our relationship today, it is rock solid baby! We have literally been through everything, I mean everything and at the end of the day I look at him and think to myself “Damn girl you did good picking this one.” A while back I had no intentions of getting married anytime soon then one day ( July 4th 2013) after many MANY talks with my bestest it hit me like a fat guy in an out of control wheel chair, why in the heck haven’t I married the man who has been there for me through every EVERY crazy stage of my life. The man who has watched me push a baby out of my lady area, the man who stopped every 20+ minutes in a car ride because I had to poop (unknown gluten allergy) the man who loves me no matter how stubborn and thick headed I am, the man who loves not only me but our daughter more than he would ever love himself. It hit me just like that! So I got in my car drove two and a half hours to where he was staying and told him I wanted to marry him on the condition that he gives me a real proposal 🙂 His reply ” It’s about time” then kissed me on the head and a few weeks later we were engaged. I seriously think that day God yelled down from heaven Hallelujah she finally pulled her head out of her a** Here he blessed me with this totally awesome guy and I was to stubborn to see it.
Throughout those years of ups and downs and after many long talks with my bestest I learned a lot about myself and I learned many things that I wish I would have known sooner…
- Love is not like the movies or steamy TV shows nor is it like those country songs you say you hate but you actually love. it’s all fake FAKE I say. Love is real and it hurts and it’s hard but if you have the right person by your side the chaos is beautiful!
- you’ve all heard the saying “don’t go to bed mad” that’s complete crap! Sometimes I need a good night sleep to calm myself down but, before I fall asleep I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and make the choice to make it a better one. Life’s way to0 short to be mad about the same thing for more than a day.
- TALK! I was a great one for holding everything in until one day it would all blow out of me like lava. I made the decison to talk about what was making me upset right away and it’s made a world of difference. But, I don’t nag that’s just annoying. Guys have selective hearing so I make what I’m saying count!
- Most importantly I learned that God loves me and wants me to be happy in my relationship. I wasn’t ashamed when I discovered that a big reason for my unhappiness was myself. In fact it was refreshing because I’m the only one in control of myself and I chose to fix the problem and live happily.
- OH and I learned how to support Zach. I truly believe that in a marriage a man’s success has a lot to do with the women by his side. With that he also supports me, every crazy wild dream I come up with he encourages me. His dream of owning his own company is probably more realistic than my dream of becoming a monster truck driving pilot who flys the world feeding starving children and rescuing animals but hey he supports it!
I learned to pray about everything! If I feel something is off in our relationship I pray about it right away. I even pray that before something is off that I can fix it before a problem ever arises. I tried for years navigating my love life on my own and that lead to A LOT of mishaps and heartaches that could have been avoided if I just would have taken the time to pray!
I know our marriage isn’t perfect but, we have overcome almost every obstacle imaginable and we made it through. Today I love him more than the day I first laid eyes on him in that 4th grade hallway.
Finding Grace is a beautiful thing.